Thursday, September 9, 2010

Just when I thought...

...it couldn't get any weirder...

Imagine if Pol Pot have decided, instead of sending all his scientists to work and die in the Killing Fields, he had decided instead to put to them to use, genetically engineering a Master Race using stolen DNA from Bruce Lee and Serena Williams, but because of a cockroach in his fax machine, the resulting misprint resulted in them receiving material from Bruce Lee and Kenneth Williams instead (Don't know Kenneth Williams? A genius! - see him on YouTube clip.

Imagine they continued working for 50 years in a lab so isolated in the jungle (much too far up river for even Colonel Kurtz to venture) that they were unaware of the fall of Pol Pot's totalitarian regime. Every year they produced bizarre mutant cross-breeds with varying degrees of success.

The commander of the camp decided, for some reason, to raise them believing they were direct Divine Descendants of Mother Kali (? really? see about.com) - possibly an unwise choice, in retrospect!

As time went on the boffins began to achieve a measure of success, and their latest batch of cloned kids were not only physically viable but drop-dead gorgeous, combining Bruce Lee's physique, skill and charisma with Kenneth Williams' intelligence and Wit - a little scary and sexuallly ambiguous to be sure, given the fearful appearance of the One they all thought was their Grand Ma...

Then imagine a nearby plane crash had but a single survivor the only passenger in the upstairs first class cabin, Baz Lurhmann (oh, please ,-) Wiki Ref for Baz) who was badly concussed but otherwise unhurt. He wakes up in the remote lab's infirmary believing he is there to rehearse "Urban Street Dance-Off 3 - The Re-Match"!

He works day and night teaching these often-cross-dressing, certainly transgressive and physically odd, cloned kids to dance beautifully, but after a few months he catches denge fever and dies within hours.

In the years that follow, the kids continue to hold monthly "dance offs" that combine what they remember of Baz's teaching, with what they believe is their Supernatural Heritage (as indeed it IS, just not in the way they think)...

...Sorry this story is so outlandish (and apologies to Baz if he's reading. He's a Genius also, and hopefully not dead in the Cambodian jungle ;-)

Its the only way I can find to describe to a Westerner, what the Festival I went to last night, in a very remote villlage in the hills near the Cambodian border, was like.

Just though you might be interested. HD video may even be on unkle sleazy dot tv soon....